Wayland Student Press Network 4/1/10:  Space on Ark Limited, Town Begins Random Lottery.  State officials have confirmed that the entire town of Wayland will be under water within a matter of days.  “Residents must evacuate immediately,” said an emergency reverse-911 phone system message. “The tsunami wave will be too large to out-run. We’re strongly advising against using canoes and kayaks to ride it out.”  Town officials have been scrambling to complete an ark, but two political committees debating the issue are having difficulty deciding not only who will get to board the ark, but also how it will be furnished.   [April Fools!]